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Are you looking for fresh, pesticide-free, homegrown local produce? Look no further than Urban Hijau! Yup, there is literally an urban farm in the middle of KL.
You can find eggplants, chillis, lady’s fingers (bendeh), king of bitters (ulam raja), snake gourd, and lots more. It’s so cool to be able to harvest these amazing veggies. Cook them fresh and taste the difference!
Please remember to wear a hat or bring an umbrella when you come and visit 🙂
Alhamdulilah, today was Day #1 of going back to the office for me. Hello Axiom Learning! It’s so good to be back. I’ve missed being in the office. Family-friendly offices are the best for working mamas. (Supportive managers and colleagues? Check. Private space to express milk? Check. Fridge to store milk? Check. Overall family-friendly vibe? CHECK!)
Of course, kudos goes to my amazing babysitting team ❤ It takes a village to raise a baby. Truly.
Although I’ve been working as an online counsellor for SeekersHub Global (another amazing team of people to work with!) since Taskeen was a few months old….it sure is nice to physically leave my home and interact with adults and children. AH, I LOVE BEING OUTSIDE. I also love being able to miss my baby. Nyaw.
Now. How to juggle everything. Duas, please!
So yes, hello again! Alhamdulilah, we’ve survived Taskeen’s 9 month sleep regression, which started at 7 months. Apparently there’s a 12 month one too. *cry* And she has teeth now! So many more to go. Oh, this first year of parenthood is something else. But one look at her toothy smile and OH THE PAIN IS GONE. All the pain. #mumnesia
Malaysia is in the midst of a heatwave. Yes, this already hot climate is even hotter. Keep hydrated, mummies and bubs. Daddies too, so you can keep helping. Survive one day at a time.
Here’s a great article on postnatal depletion by Pinky McKay. If you or someone you love is looking after a baby, please read it and share. If you’re looking for a great naturopath, I recommend Julide Turker. She’s based in Melbourne, Australia. Her ethical, compassionate and empowering diet/lifestyle tips and supplements have made a world of a difference in my journey through recovering from birth and surviving motherhood.
This was a fun article to write! Ah, the newborn reality check – 10 Things That Actually Happen After Having A Baby
If you’re a new parent – it really does get better. Then it gets hard again. And then it gets better. Ha. Sob. One smile from baby and it’s all worth it ❤ (even if it’s the gas-related smile. Still so cute)
In the spirit of learning more about what not to do as a parent….here’s some food for thought about the impact severe childhood trauma has on children. Scary!
The good news is that our brains can rewire, and trauma can be healed. Rinse, repeat!
In the spirit of promoting women’s wellbeing, here’s an eye-opening interview with Heba Shaheed, The Pelvic Expert. Heba shares the details on her upcoming marriage success workshop.
1) What is your workshop about?
I am co-facilitating a workshop with a life and relationship coach Dalya Ayoub. Sister Dalya will be covering topics such as:
I will be delving more into the physical side of the marital relationship by talking about intimacy. I’ll cover the Islamic rulings of intimacy first and then I’ll go into the anatomy and physiology of intimacy and sexuality. I want women to be comfortable in their sexuality and to embrace it. I’ll talk about female arousal, libido, and desire.
The two main challenges women have regarding sex are inability to orgasm and painful sex. I’ll talk about the different types of orgasms and practical techniques on how to reach them, as well as practical ways to prevent or eliminate pain with sex.
I’ll cover the practical side of sex as well talking about different techniques. Intimacy isn’t all about penetrative sex. Couples can enjoy outercourse or other acts of intimacy such as sensual massage, mutual masturbation and for some, oral sex. These alternatives are especially helpful for women who struggle with pain or vaginismus. And I’ll also talk about how to engage in pleasurable foreplay.
I will cover different positions they can experiment with as well, especially for the ones who have pain with sex, how they can adjust to have pain-free sex. I’ll also discuss certain positions that will increase their ability to orgasm with their husband.
2) Why is it important for you to address these issues?
There’s lack of reliable information out there on intimacy in Islam. And because it’s such a taboo topic, nobody wants to talk about it. We know that failed marriages are on the rise and that a lot of the time the issue is either failures in communication or intimacy. We don’t really understand what our spouses need, and so many of us are only focused on how our own needs not being met. On the flipside, we have people who completely neglect their own needs because they spend so much time trying to meet others’ needs and then they wear themselves out.
As I mentioned earlier, so many women don’t understand their own bodies. And yet we live in these bodies and we neglect them so much. I want women to tap into their sexuality and also to maintain good health.
And then there is the Islamic side of things. Sex is an act of charity but it’s also something enjoyable. Did you know that the clitoris’ sole function is pleasure? We don’t have to be ashamed of this. And at the same time you are getting rewards for engaging in halal sex. We all know men need sex. But women do too, especially the intimacy of it! In pleasing our husbands we are also pleasing Allah, and ultimately your husband is one of your keys to Jannah. We should embrace that.
3) Will this be available online?
Unfortunately, it will not be available online at this point. However it will be possible in the future InshaAllah.
The course is a small group limited to 25 people in order to have have maximum engagement and learning.
4) Who would benefit most from it?
Every single woman will benefit, whether she is married, divorced, single, engaged, and regardless of age. Every one of us can improve our marriage, whether it’s suffering or blissful. Make the intention that going to this course is going to improve your relationship with your husband for the sake of Allah.
There is always something more you can learn and this course is all about making the knowledge practical. Women who have trouble reaching orgasm or who have pain with sex will also greatly benefit. Education is key for these women. But at the very least you will learn more about your body and become more comfortable in your sexuality. And you will have so many tools to build a successful marriage!
This is one course you cannot miss. And we guarantee that you will leave the course satisfied.
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Good on you, Heba, for tackling such a sensitive and much-needed topic. Ladies, hurry and sign up while there’s still space! Heba and Dalya, come on down to KL and hold it here ❤
Check out my latest article on Daily Life – The Value of The Asian Tradition of Postpartum Lie-Ins.
Having access to this rich tradition is one of the best parts of living in KL. I love how it’s just so understood here that hey, every new mum needs some TLC after the marathon of pregnancy and birth. Four and a half months on and I’m still exhausted lol but I’m grateful for the rest I had in the beginning.
To my fantastic postnatal care team – thank you! You were all so amazing ❤
Here’s to giving every new mum & bub the chance to catch their breaths by giving them the support they need ❤
When Taskeen was freshly earthside and I was shocked by the intensity of first-time motherhood, some kind and experienced mums told me that:
1) It’ll get easier at 6-8 weeks
2) It’ll get easier after 3 months.
In both cases, things did get easier. By the time Taskeen was 3 months, we had a great daytime and nighttime routine, I could start writing again, the haze was clearing up…life was getting significantly better.
AND THEN SHE TURNED FOUR MONTHS.
Oh. Mah. Gosh. What happened to my daytime nap champion who nursed easily and slept pretty well at night?!
Hello even greater levels of sleep deprivation. I whatsapped my faithful mummy global support group (Sydney! KL! California!) and posted on IBU forums, and they gave reassuring replies that sounded like, “Wow yeah that four months stage. EW. Just nap. OK? It’ll get better. Promise. Make lots of dua!”
Some links helped, like these:
A reminder about sleep regressions
So it wasn’t just me! This four month torturous phase was like, a real thing.
I loved this one – Wonder Week 19 AKA Four Month Sleep Regression
I bought the Wonder Weeks app from iTunes. Rah, I should’ve listened to you and bought it sooner lol. The app reminded me that Taskeen is going through a growth spurt and she’ll come out of this stronger, inshaAllah.
On the upside to my baby’s almost constant fussiness – she’s doing so many cool new and amazing things! She’s rolling, lifting up her chest from tummy time position, glaring at her hands and grunting in this OBEY ME! way. So cute. MashaAllah. All good things.
If your baby is going through the same thing as mine….hang in there. You are not alone! The constant crankiness of an inconsolable baby is so exhausting, I know 😦 But it’s because your little munchkin is growing and changing in wonderful ways.
Coping strategies
Before you know it, your little one will be 5 months and you can all sleep easier 🙂
(Alas, there’s the 9 month sleep regression which is like the Godzilla version of the tiny 4 month sleep regression. CRY.)
I absolutely loved this read “Why is my baby breastfeeding AGAIN? 75 reasons your baby needs to feed (besides hunger)” This was such a sweet, funny and encouraging read for all mummies who are breastfeeding their bubs.
My personal favourites, from the list:
5) It’s night and I can’t see you, so I need to touch and smell and taste you.
69) Morning snuggles are the best!
Nyaw! Both points help with the chronic sleep deprivation that comes with having a newborn. If anyone reading this has any pointers on gentle sleep training, please share! I’ve heard wonderful things about Tresilian, but alas, I’m living in KL and don’t have access to their sleep residency (?) program. They offer online chats though, from 5-11 pm Sydney time! So cool.
I still remember the haze of those early newborn days and weeks. Myer ‘organic’ maternity camisoles are the best. Thanks, Khad ❤ Having a lot of milk-boosting oats (yum) and fenugreek tea (not so yum) really helped me establish a good milk supply, alongside feeding on demand. A little discomfort is normal at first, but breastfeeding isn’t meant to hurt. Get the help of a lactation consultant if you need to – I know I was texting my mummy friends and the wonderful Nadine Ghows (“Is this NORMAL? She’s feeding every 2 hours!!”).
It’s so different breastfeeding my baby girl now she’s 4 months! She’s a champion roller and super distractible. Our nursing conversations sound something like this:
“Taskeen, that’s just the dogs outside. Oh that’s thunder. Don’t worry, you’re safe with mummy. Wow, yes, that’s the sound of the rain! It’s OK. Just drink. Haha. Such a cute smile you’re giving mummy!* OK go back to drinking. Please drink sayang, or you’ll get hungry soon. Haha. Still smiling at me. Funny baby.”
* I sound like Yoda lol
Please click here to support the family of Salahudin Abdul-Razacq. He is survived by his wife, Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, and their three children. There’s one day left, and the target has almost been reached!
I will always be indebted to Ustadha Zaynab. She answered my emails during my tumultous twenties, and I still remember her compassion and sincere concern. Her wisdom, tact and intelligence played a huge role in my decision to study ‘ilm in Jordan. She made the time to speak to me on Skype before I travelled to Jordan, and I still recall her advising me to get my notes in order before I had children. At that point in my life, I felt so lost and I could not fathom being in a healthy and happy marriage, let alone have any children.
SubhanAllah, almost five years has passed from those difficult days. Allah has blessed me with a loving husband and a beautiful baby daughter. Alongside these blessings, Allah has given me the means to teach the introductory level of personally obligatory knowledge of Shafi’i fiqh, including the fiqh of menstruation. Allah Kareem.
Ustadha Zaynab, may Allah reward you for showing me so much kindness when I needed it most, and believing in me long before I could believe in myself. The world desperately needs many more lady scholars such as yourself. May Allah ease your heartache and that of your family, and reward you abundantly in both worlds.
Raidah Shah Idil, MG Author 