Author: Raidah Shah Idil

Raidah Shah Idil is a student counsellor, poet, writer, and creative instructor with a passion for YA (young adult), fantasy, sci-fi and detective fiction. She was born in Singapore and moved to Australia at the age of 12. She graduated with a Bachelor of Arts (English) and Bachelor of Science (Psychology) from the University of New South Wales in 2005. After working as a marketing copywriter and studying the Islamic Sciences in Amman, Jordan for nearly two years, she returned to Sydney, got married, then moved to Malaysia. While working as a part-time tutor at Axiom Learning, she works as an online counsellor for Seekershub Global. She has completed her Diploma of Counselling through the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. Her full-time job is raising her baby daughter. Everything else is squeezed in between. Literally. Her writing has been published in The Feminist Wire, SISTERS magazine, Daily Life, Lip Mag and Venture Beat. Raidah’s poetry was recently published in the ‘Armed With Only Our Souls’ online DDFS chapbook by New York poet Caits Meissner. Her debut double-featured novel, “Finding Jamilah and the Story of Yusuf” was published by MyLegacy publications in early 2014. In her spare time (ha), she reads, listens to audiobooks, goes on walks, and is always on the lookout for tasty noodle soup. She currently lives in a green, leafy suburb in Kuala Lumpur with her husband, three small children and mother-in-law.
Life, Writing

I’m on holiday!

Raidah Shah Idil

1381969_tropical_island_holiday_2Since last Friday, I’ve been at Port Macquarie with my husband, in-laws and close family friends. The effect of sun, surf and general relaxation has been amazing for my writing productivity! I highly encourage a getaway if you’re facing writer’s block. I made the intention to finish up as much of my 9000 manuscript as possible (preferably, all 900o words!), and I’m really glad that I’ve passed the 6500 mark. I’ll worry about editing later. Now, I need to keep writing. I have today

I’m several shades darker and sunburnt after sitting at the beach. This morning was a highlight – my husband and I hopped on some bikes, cycled down to the beach, then dove into the water to cool off. Good fun! That’s the plus of being at a more deserted beach 🙂

I’m writing this from one of the Port Macquarie shopping centres, using my phone as a WiFi hotspot. The reception from our holiday house is poor, and we barely pick up signal at certain spots. That’s why you’ll find some of us congregating at, say, the dining table, catching up on Whatsapp conversations lol. We have to cross the ferry (it costs $3.10, one-way) to get to the city centre. Getting here was the first time I actually boarded  a ferry, while still being on a car. You can’t even tell the ferry is moving, then voila, you’ve reached the other side. Very cool.

2012 has been a busy year for me and I’m really glad I’m on a holiday to wind down, and reassess what I’d like to achieve when 2013 rolls around.

Have a great holiday!

Writing

Finding a writing mentor

Raidah Shah Idil

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Writing mentors. Ever heard of one?

I find that writing is a largely solitary process. It’s me, my keyboard, a mug of ginger tea. But getting the encouragement to continue to write is a whole other story! That comes from my family and close friends, and a continual renewal of my intention behind why I write.

Because I live in Sydney, it helps to narrow down my mentor search to what’s close by. The NSW writing centre talks about their mentorship program here.

This is my first thought: OMG SO EXPENSIVE.

Second thought: So this is how writers can earn money.

Third thought: Well, it’s a service, and if it means making my manuscript the best it can be, then sure thing! That’s a wise investment.

Well, at this point in time, not only can I not afford a mentorship assessment, I also don’t really need one. I’ve already got a publisher waiting for me to finish up my second manuscript.

However! For future manuscripts which I intend to pitch at other literary agents and publishers, I would definitely consider a manuscript assessment. You know that glazed-eyed feeling when you’ve looked at your own writing for too long? A sure-fire way to fix that is by paying a team of experts to look over it for you, and give you constructive feedback. As usual, what I need to keep doing is write!

Here are a few very handy articles I’ve found on writing mentors:

How to Find A Mentor in 10 Not-So-Easy Steps

Writing mentors: What they do and where to find one

On another note, here’s a lovely review from Subhi Bora:

Raidah, I read Finding Jamilah. I loved it. It is so beautifully written mashallah! and I must say, I may have shed a few tears toward the end. 🙂

Life

Walmart pulls the gun used in Sandy Hook massacre

Raidah Shah Idil

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When I read the Huffington post article Walmart Pulls Bushmaster Rifle From Website In Wake Of Newtown Shooting – I couldn’t believe it. You mean you can order guns from the Walmart website? Doesn’t take a genius to work out how that could contribute to the sorry state of shootings in America. But wait – guns don’t kill people, people kill people. *facepalm*

The bulk of my online shopping goes towards buying books. I guess other people buy guns. Good grief. The tragedy at Sandy Hook has had other ramifications – namely, a spike in gun sales. There’s an entire culture of fear-mongering that’s rife in America, especially when it comes to limiting gun sales.

After high-profile shootings, debate over gun control can cause consumer demand for guns to rise, government records have shown. Industry experts say fears that stricter laws will follow such incidents push people to stock up on firearms before regulators can clamp down. But last weekend’s spike in business was unprecedented, gun shop owners in California, Connecticut and North Carolina told HuffPost.

Speaking of gun sales, here’s the long-awaited Important Statement from the National Rifle Association (NRA):

The National Rifle Association of America is made up of four million moms and dads, sons and daughters – and we were shocked, saddened and heartbroken by the news of the horrific and senseless murders in Newtown.

Out of respect for the families, and as a matter of common decency, we have given time for mourning, prayer and a full investigation of the facts before commenting.

The NRA is prepared to offer meaningful contributions to help make sure this never happens again.

The NRA is planning to hold a major news conference in the Washington, DC area on Friday, December 21.

Details will be released to the media at the appropriate time.

What is meant by ‘meaningful contribution’ remains a mystery. The press conference will get a lot of air-time, but it’s just another smokescreen. There’ll be another shooting, and it’s only a matter of time before that happens.

In other news, an asteroid Toutatis had  a close shave with Earth! For all of the drama that humans generate on this planet, it really doesn’t take much to wipe us all out. Namely, an asteroid hitting earth. According to the article, we’ll be okay for the next 400 years. From this particular asteroid, at least. When it comes to being safe from guns, on the other hand….

Toutatis would cause catastrophic damage if it ever did slam into Earth, potentially extinguishing humanity and many other species. In general, scientists think a strike by anything at least 0.6 miles (1 km) wide could have global consequences, most likely by altering the world’s climate for many years to come.

For comparison, the asteroid thought to have wiped out the dinosaurs 65 million years ago was an estimated 6 miles (10 km) across.

 

Life

“I am Adam Lanza’s Mother”

Raidah Shah Idil

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I read this powerful article by Liza Long, titled I am Adam Lanza’s mother. With a title like that, I just had to read it. Please, read it it too.

Lisa writes about what it’s like being a mother to a 13 year old son who is prone to acts of violence. She writes with raw honesty, and it hurts to imagine how difficult it must be for her and others in her situation. Dealing with threats of violence is a heavy burden, especially when it’s your own flesh and blood.

I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am James Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

And she’s absolutely right. Yes, talking (and actually doing something) about gun control is absolutely critical….but it’s not enough. Why is this pattern of American shooting rampages continuing to repeat itself? What’s driving these gunmen? I’m pretty sure the easy access to guns exacerbates the situation, but I’m yet to hear an honest conversation in the media about what’s driving these gunmen to kill so many people, including themselves. The worst part of this is unfortunately, it’s only going to be a matter of time until the next shooting happens.

School shootings and psychiatric drugs offers a different perspective. Keep an open mind…you’ll be surprised what you might learn.

Life

American Shooting Tragedy

Raidah Shah Idil

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Words fall flat in the face of the shooting tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut.

Most of the victims were just kids. Kids! Who had they ever harmed? Nobody! I don’t know what it’s like to be a parent, so I can’t even begin to comprehend the loss and devastation they’re going through. Nothing can bring these kids or their teachers back. In the face of such reckless disregard for life, I commend the heartbreaking bravery of the teachers who stepped in between the gunman and the children. They gave up their lives to protect these children.

It’s disturbing to see that Nancy Lanza, the gunman’s mother and his first victim, was a gun enthusiast herself. The guns he used to murder so many people were hers. Legally bought. None of us will know what went through the mind of the Adam Lanza, and what kind of rage could motivate him to kill his own mother, and so many others. As this NY times piece pointed out – all the seven adults who were killed were women, and the bullets used by the gunman were designed to inflict maximum harm. Devastating. All life is precious, and it’s appalling that this kind of shooting rampage is not a one-off event in America.

I’m not American. I have no understanding of this ‘right to bear arms’. As Huffington Post tweeted recently, what about the right for children to live? If you ask me, the choice is clear. If the gun situation in America has escalated to the point where children need to be trained for school shootings, then that’s an awful, awful place to be in. I wouldn’t want to be a parent in America, holding my breath each time I send my kid to school. Homeschooling takes on a whole new meaning for American kids. It could mean the difference between surviving to reach adulthood, or dying in another school shooting.

Sure, like a lot of other kids, I didn’t like school very much. But it never, ever crossed my mind that somebody would break into my school and rain bullets on my friends and my teachers. This is the fear of every American parent right now, in the wake of the  most recent school shootings. For Australian schools at least, the risk of a gunman is very, very low on our radar. And I pray that it continues to stay this way. Does it mean things were always peachy? Not at all. This SMH article points out what the Howard government did for gun control, after the 1996 Port Arthur massacre:

However, the federal Labor MP Andrew Leigh believes Howard’s success will endure. Leigh, as an academic, published research in 2010 that found the buyback of 500,000 semi-automatic rifles and shotguns had cut firearm suicides by 74 per cent, saving 200 lives a year. Gun homicides were down 59 per cent.

President Obama, what will you do now? Teary speeches don’t cut it. Gun control will.

Islam, Life

On interfaith dialogue and looking racially ambiguous

Raidah Shah Idil

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I just came back from a great gathering of 15 or so young Christian women. They wanted to hear what it’s like to be a Muslim women, so I gave them a brief rundown on my life, and left time for questions at the end.

The kinds of questions they asked me were interesting. One of the first questions was about arranged marriages. I made a joke while I was telling my story that yes, my marriage was arranged – I arranged it. lol. But back to the young woman’s question – I said it all depends on the individual. Some people get introduced to their spouses through friends, others through family members, while others randomly meet them at uni, volunteer events, or  – true story – the bus. The most important point is that the bride must give consent, otherwise the marriage contract isn’t valid.

It was a lovely gathering, and they gave me pretty flowers 🙂 This made me happy.

On another note, I read this article on looking racially ambigous by Chris, on the Peril blog. It made me laugh. A must-read! Here’s quote:

 

Some guy at uni: “Chris? Is he that black guy?”

______________________________________________

Some high school kid I was teaching: “Are you a wog, sir?”

______________________________________________

The neighbourhood bully when I was a kid: “Watch yourself, black boy.”

______________________________________________

Some stupid kid when I walked into the milk bar as a kid: “Hey look Mum, it’s a Ching-Chong.”

 

The most common comment that I get for people who can’t spot that I’m (mostly) Malay is, “But you look Chinese!”

Recently, I was on the train, iPod headphones in, listening to Tamora Pierce’s Wolfspeaker. An youngish Asian man boards the carriage and sits right across from me. I look up, we make eye contact, he smiles, then the Awkward Racial Conversation begins:

“Where are you from?”

“Um. I was born in Singapore.”

“What’s your race?”

“I’m mixed. Mostly Malay, some Chinese and Indian.”

“You have more of a Chinese look.”

“Uh. Yeah. Okay.”

“I think you’re very pretty.”

“Uh. Thank you.”

At this stage, he gets off the train, smiling away. I don’t know if I’m meant to be offended or flattered, so I return to listening to my audiobook. It’s like my interesting combination of looking Chinese and wearing a hijab/headscarf gave him the green light to suddenly ask me all these random personal questions!

This reminds me of an incident at least ten years ago when a woman on the train (again, sitting right across from me) starts talking very loudly to her daughter about how it’s such a shame that Muslim women cover their hair. Sigh. Seriously, wearing a hijab doesn’t make me deaf. I ended up talking to her directly instead of just passively sitting there, and by the end of our conversation, she was a lot nicer. Yes, it’s all very voluntary, and I’m happy to have a conversation about it if you ask nicely.

freelance

How much should emerging writers be paid?

Raidah Shah Idil

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I’ve come across this really useful website- Get Money, Get Paid – pay rates for emerging writers. This is accurate as of May 2012. I think that if you’re a newbie freelance writer, it helps to have some kind of ballpark figure of what’s out there, instead of working yourself to the bone for peanuts.

From my experience, the budget and types of projects on Elance vary widely. Personally, the thought of churning out regular blog posts for peanuts doesn’t appeal to me. On the other hand, bidding for writing projects that pay better (sometimes, ridiculously better) is very hit-and-miss. It’s all a balancing act, and the ingredient for success is persistence, persistence, persistence.

I’m a firm believer in not selling yourself short. This is why I really enjoyed and recommend that you read 3 Excuses That Are Keeping You From A Successful Freelance Writing Career. The Renegade Writer talks about how it’s our self-limiting beliefs that prevent writers from reaching our full writerly potential, and this includes financial success.

Like many things in the world, it all starts from within. Do you believe in yourself, and your writing?

Life, Opinion, Writing

The 25 best stories for women this year – and mine’s included!

Raidah Shah Idil

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I’m thrilled to share that Daily Life has included my first article on their list of 25 best stories for women this year!

Working as a freelance writer isn’t easy. Anyone who tells you it’s a piece of cake is either well into the trade, or trying to sell you something. Writing for Daily Life was one of the best writing decisions I’ve made, and I’m still figuring out the right kinds of article to pitch! I’d like to thank Sarah Oakes, the Daily Life editor, as well as Candice Chung for being so encouraging and for helping me shape my articles into what they are today.

Some stories, like Clem Ford’s opinion piece on Jill Meagher and victim blaming, became national talking points. Others, including Raidah Shah Idil’s essay on what it’s like to wear a hijab, stayed with us because of their frankness and steadfast bravery.

Perhaps most importantly, each of these fresh female voices reminds us of the joy of sharing good writing. They inspired, challenged, and artfully reflected on the female condition in a way that only women could.

And another one…

What it’s really like to wear a hijab , By Raidah Shah Idil 
“I wear a hijab so when I’m in the public eye, I am unmistakably Muslim. If you look at me, you’ll see that I’m Asian. If you talk to me, you’ll see how much I love fantasy novels.” Shah Idil reminds us that the rest of the world, there are layers to her you can’t immediately see.

Thank you, Daily Life team, for brightening up my day 🙂

 

Health, Life, Opinion

Postnatal Depression Happens To Men Too

Raidah Shah Idil

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I recently this article on Daily Life, My husband was diagnosed with postnatal depression. I was genuinely surprised, and then realised that this makes perfect sense. The entry of a newborn baby into the lives of couple changes everything. I used to think that only mothers could get overwhelmed from the demands of a newborn, but it only makes sense that a father could be too.

I did some research, and found an article titled Fathers at risk of postnatal depression. Here’s a quote from the article:

…postnatal depression hits fathers and mothers equally in the first 12 months of a newborn’s life.

Young fathers are particularly vulnerable, with those aged under 30 facing a 40 per cent increase in the risk of developing postnatal depression compared with fathers aged over 30.

Again, the emphasis on younger parents having it tough! Hm. Food for thought. I hope that with the passage of time, there’ll be more research and advertising campaigns which highlight that fathers can suffer from postnatal depression. Talking about mental health issues makes it much easier for people to get the support that they need from healthcare providers.

The world has come a long way when it comes to recognizing that mothers do suffer from postnatal depression. The Black Dog Institute describes that one in seven mothers will suffer from postnatal depression (PND). I hope that new fathers will get similar levels of support.

If you know a loved one – male or female – who fits this description, and if you’re in a position to offer genuine advice, please encourage them to seek help.

 

 

 

Book review, Life, Opinion

Eulogy for a library & Last of The Mohicans

Raidah Shah Idil

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I loved this piece on Daily Life, by Alecia Simmonds: Eulogy for a library.

As much as I enjoy my Kindle and the ease of accessing all kinds of books, there will always be a place in my heart for the sacred silence of a library.

In my brief time at the University of Sydney, I also have fond memories of Fisher Library. I remember borrowing an ancient copy of The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper. It felt like I was touching a piece of history – the musty tome, the yellowed pages….that book took me back to 1757, to the wildnerness that was America. I discovered that it was a very different story to the movie adaptation, but no less powerful. My favourite parts had to do with descriptions of the Native Americans, the lush descriptions of the rugged terrain, and, of course, the doomed love story between Uncas and Cora Munroe – not Alice, as seen in the movie.

Spoilers ahead!

In the book, Cora Munroe is actually not the all-white American heroine seen in the movie. Her mother is African American, and she is described as the stronger of the two sisters, compared to her waif-like sister Alice. Uncas and her fall in love, but back then, interracial marriage was a complete no-no. The solution? Killing off Uncas and Cora, so they could be together in the afterlife!

I was really shocked to read that America only legalized interracial marriage in 1967! Prior to the Loving v. Virginia case, it was literally illegal to marry someone of a different race. This boggles my mind. I’m of mixed ancestry (Malay, Indian and Chinese), and my future children will be too.