I’ve come across this wonderful TED talk by Dr Kristen Neff.
May this warm your heart, inspire you, and add to your journey of self-compassion!
Copyright © 2024, Raidah Shah Idil. All rights reserved.
I’ve come across this wonderful TED talk by Dr Kristen Neff.
May this warm your heart, inspire you, and add to your journey of self-compassion!
One of my favorite times of the day is dinner time. It has nothing to do with the food, especially when I am the cook, and it has everything to do with my usual dining companions-my two daughters. Even during the most hectic of times, sitting down together at the kitchen table for dinner is more than a tradition, it is sacred family time that I fiercely protect. The reason I guard it so closely is that it is during these times that we share the occurrences of our respective days, dream aloud, laugh hysterically, and just enjoy being in one another’s presence, and I refuse to let anything interfere with that if at all possible.
Some evenings, we cover a variety of topics, and I find myself inspired by something that is shared among the three of us. Tonight, the subject of what makes someone a…
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Today’s blog post is an exclusive interview with the lovely and talented Saltanat Bora, founder of The Modest Bride.
Tell me about the ethos behind The Modest Bride.
The ethos behind the blog revolves around the concept of ‘modesty’ and what this entails, not just in the world of weddings, but in life as well. To me, modesty is more than just a ‘style’ or ‘look’. It dictates how one speaks, acts and lives. It’s a holistic ideal that informs one’s lifestyle choices, beyond what one decides to wear. Whilst dressing with humility is important, modesty is also about living a life conscious of the impacts of our choices regarding what we eat, how we consume and how we choose to celebrate, amongst many other things.
Of course, all of this stems from the religion I choose to follow, that is, Islam. Modesty, or ‘haya’, is core to the religion. Modesty in front of one’s Creator should be the driving force in striving to live a life of humility, honesty, and a deeper consciousness of how we live.
What inspired you to start it?
It was frustration more than anything that pushed me to start the Instagram page, and later the blog. Having been married myself and gone through the nightmare that is planning a wedding, and seeing many others around me go through the same, made me realise that the way we took on certain (western) cultural expectations of what a wedding should (or shouldn’t) be, was entirely against what I struggled for as a Muslim. Community expectation that weddings should be elaborate and really, beyond an average person’s means to afford, seemed wholly unfair and unjust. I was fed up with the same old ‘big hall’ weddings, dripping in flowers, for hundreds of people the bride/groom didn’t even know, and also, the big, over the top, anything but modest, wedding dresses that (Hijabi) brides were wearing. I knew that something had to change.

Who is your target audience?
Although a lot of what informs my blog, my direction and my ethos is from Islam, my target audience is not necessarily for the Muslim. I believe that my love for a minimalist aesthetic and an eco-friendly, fair-trade, organic lifestyle would resonate with a much wider audience. I was right! A lot of my followers are non-Muslim. I also don’t think that ‘modesty’ is a value unique to Muslims.
What do you hope to achieve from your blog?
My ultimate aim would be to see more and more people be inspired by the blog, and have the courage to do things differently to the norm. For people to understand that their choices have consequences on the world, other people and the environment. That simply because they are getting married, does not mean that all our values regarding modesty and humility suddenly get left at the door. In fact, it is more pertinent that on that “big day” we maintain and uphold these values because it is an important step in our lives. It should be crucial that we take this step in the right way so that it ensures, to the best of our ability, that things start off in the most blessed, joyful, correct manner.

If there was one thing you want young women and men to take away from your blog, what would it be?
Don’t compromise on your values just because there is a societal expectation to do things a certain way!
What would be your ‘ideal wedding’?
The ideal wedding for me is a small, intimate celebration with the bride and groom’s closest family and friends at a beautiful garden location, maybe even a backyard! Home made (organically sourced) food that’s not too fussy, DIY elements such as a photograph garland of the bride and groom, their family and friends etc. Big lanterns in clusters to set the mood, locally sourced flowers in an eclectic array of vases, lace tablecloths, a yummy “naked” cake-see blog for clarification 😉 – and lots and lots of love and joy in an easy, comfortable atmosphere.

Check out my latest piece on Lip Mag – keep calm and befriend a Muslim.
Thank you, Jo, for being such a savvy and supportive editor! Here’s to supporting Muslim women in our decision to wear what we #WISH.
BEAUTIFUL!
Warning: this post is a long one.
I am currently 36 weeks pregnant, and am stuck between the anticipation of meeting my new baby (baby no 2), getting labour over and done with, or just trying to enjoy having only one child in the world and some time to myself.
Me (18 weeks pregnant) with my little girl
Having less than four weeks left to go makes me reminisce about the birth of my first daughter, two and a half years ago. As with anyone’s first baby, it was a tough one. Not only was the labour long and traumatising, but the recovery after the birth was, to be honest, unexpectedly difficult. When you’re pregnant with your first you seem to focus only on getting through the labour, because you’ve heard horror stories about the pain your whole life. No one bothered to mention how excruciatingly painful breastfeeding could be, or how physically…
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To those of you interested in learning more about the harms of genetically-modified food, check out my October SISTERS article:
Intrigued? I recommend watching the Seeds of Death documentary, which I wrote about in this blog post for Cultivate Central. What we eat impacts so deeply on our health and our children’s. Knowledge is power!
Buy your very own copy of this amazing magazine from the SISTERS website 🙂
I’m thrilled to announce that my poem, Immigration, will be exhibited at the Islamic Museum of Australia from Oct 10th to Jan 10th 🙂 I’m even more excited that my youngest sister’s poem will also be exhibited 🙂 Go Aisyah!
My deepest thanks and gratitude goes to the talented Caits Meissner, who so lovingly nurtured my sister and me, along with our poems. Caits, you are my poetic personal trainer.
The IMA’s opening night function will be on Friday 10th October, at 7 pm. If you’re able to, please do head down and celebrate the beauty produced by various Australian Muslim artists. In a world splintering at the edges, it helps to be reminded of the constancy and presence of the Divine, threaded through our lives and artwork. There is still so much beauty in this world, living alongside the pain.
Here’s my latest published piece in SISTERS magazine, September Edition 🙂 Click to view the PDF!
Great news! I’ll be performing “Ode To My Beloved” this Saturday, at Peace Meal’s event Modern Society and The Tolerance of Muhammad (upon him be blessings and peace). Thank you, Peace Meal, for the invitation. Please keep me in your prayers.
I’m thrilled by the lineup – scholars, poets and storytellers – and it goes to show how multifaceted love can be. Some express it through stories, some, through poetry, and others, through speaking about the Divine. Come and witness these expressions of love for the Beloved (upon him be blessings and peace), and bring your friends and family 🙂
(Note: I’ll write up some thoughts on my Singapore book launch shortly!)
Tomorrow’s the day! My Singapore book launch is at The Malay Heritage Centre, under the banner “Author Sessions at Hari Raya Open House”. Thank you, Wardah Books! Please come down for my book reading and signing, and bring your friends and family. See you there in less than 24 hours 🙂
Admission is free but registration is required – just email ibrahim@wardahbooks.com to register.
Here are the details:
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