Category: Islam

Islam, Life

On interfaith dialogue and looking racially ambiguous

Raidah Shah Idil

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I just came back from a great gathering of 15 or so young Christian women. They wanted to hear what it’s like to be a Muslim women, so I gave them a brief rundown on my life, and left time for questions at the end.

The kinds of questions they asked me were interesting. One of the first questions was about arranged marriages. I made a joke while I was telling my story that yes, my marriage was arranged – I arranged it. lol. But back to the young woman’s question – I said it all depends on the individual. Some people get introduced to their spouses through friends, others through family members, while others randomly meet them at uni, volunteer events, or  – true story – the bus. The most important point is that the bride must give consent, otherwise the marriage contract isn’t valid.

It was a lovely gathering, and they gave me pretty flowers 🙂 This made me happy.

On another note, I read this article on looking racially ambigous by Chris, on the Peril blog. It made me laugh. A must-read! Here’s quote:

 

Some guy at uni: “Chris? Is he that black guy?”

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Some high school kid I was teaching: “Are you a wog, sir?”

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The neighbourhood bully when I was a kid: “Watch yourself, black boy.”

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Some stupid kid when I walked into the milk bar as a kid: “Hey look Mum, it’s a Ching-Chong.”

 

The most common comment that I get for people who can’t spot that I’m (mostly) Malay is, “But you look Chinese!”

Recently, I was on the train, iPod headphones in, listening to Tamora Pierce’s Wolfspeaker. An youngish Asian man boards the carriage and sits right across from me. I look up, we make eye contact, he smiles, then the Awkward Racial Conversation begins:

“Where are you from?”

“Um. I was born in Singapore.”

“What’s your race?”

“I’m mixed. Mostly Malay, some Chinese and Indian.”

“You have more of a Chinese look.”

“Uh. Yeah. Okay.”

“I think you’re very pretty.”

“Uh. Thank you.”

At this stage, he gets off the train, smiling away. I don’t know if I’m meant to be offended or flattered, so I return to listening to my audiobook. It’s like my interesting combination of looking Chinese and wearing a hijab/headscarf gave him the green light to suddenly ask me all these random personal questions!

This reminds me of an incident at least ten years ago when a woman on the train (again, sitting right across from me) starts talking very loudly to her daughter about how it’s such a shame that Muslim women cover their hair. Sigh. Seriously, wearing a hijab doesn’t make me deaf. I ended up talking to her directly instead of just passively sitting there, and by the end of our conversation, she was a lot nicer. Yes, it’s all very voluntary, and I’m happy to have a conversation about it if you ask nicely.

Islam, Life

Being Part of the Minister’s Muslim Reference Group

Raidah Shah Idil

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I had the incredible opportunity last night to speak at the Ministers’ Muslim Australian Reference Group.

My role was to give feedback on the CRC Youth and Religion Conference, which was held on October 21st at the ParkRoyal Hotel. I was one of the youth speakers there. I really enjoyed hearing  the stories of young people from the Egyptian Coptic, Sikh and Hindu faith. I only came in for the afternoon session, and I missed out on the talks given by Catholic, Jewish, Christian youth, as well as another Muslim youth. Interfaith dialogue is so critical in today’s world. Humanising the face of religion makes such a big difference.

Last night, I met the Hon. Victor Dominello MP, Minister for Citizenship and Communities and Aboriginal Affairs. He’s really cool! He spoke a bit about his parents coming in from Italy when they were children, making him a second-generation Italian migrant. It’s heartening to see someone from his background making his way in the world, and helping to generate positive change for the rest of the community.

I can only hope that with the passage of time and positive government support, the Muslim community in Australia will have an easier time co-existing with everyone else.

 

Islam, Life

Young mums have it tough

Raidah Shah Idil

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I read this article, It seems younger mothers are having it tough, and it got me thinking. Here’s a quote from the article:

But it was the younger parents who seemed to be suffering the most. They were more likely to have more negative memories of their experiences of being a parent, and nearly a third of them remembered feeling like other people were coping better than them, or having excessive worry and sadness.

For as much as there’s pressure to marry young and have kids quickly – is it really that good an idea? Statistics tell me otherwise. I got married at 28, and I’m in no rush to repopulate the earth.

In some Muslim circles, being the ‘older’ mum seems to be the faux pas. But for everybody else, it’s the in thing to do. Mothers are getting older and older. Check this out – Science beats fertility clock. Now I’m not a proponent of freezing ovarian tissue in your twenties so you can party hard and then settle down and have babies at forty. I just think this option is fantastic for women going through chemotherapy or other health issues. It’s amazing to see science offering hope for women to conceive, when once, it would have been impossible.

Seriously, times are changing. You don’t know when you’ll end up settling down, and rushing to get married to ANYONE so you can have babies is a very bad idea. It’s all about balance and priorities. I’m lucky that my family and in-laws aren’t badgering me to provide the goods (i.e. babies), and if they were, that wouldn’t sway my decision to wait in the slightest.

True story. I bumped into a friend of my family’s at a local mosque, and asked me how I was. I smiled and said I was busy being a housewife and working from home. She gasped and said, “Housewife? You’re not a housewife until you have babies! What’s life for?”

I answered, “To know God.” That just rolled out of my mouth – probably from the blessings of being in a mosque. Her face just changed, and she nodded solemnly. Now that is one way to put an end to the baby question 🙂

Islam, Life

Boundless Plains Premiere

Raidah Shah Idil

Last night, I attended the Boundless Plains Premiere at the NSW Parliament House. The 30-minute documentary about four young Australian Muslim men travelling into the outback was absolutely riveting. I really enjoyed watching their exploration into the depths of the Australian desert and their interviews with people who told them about the Afghan cameliers. There was an interview with a 101 year-old woman, who was the daughter of an Afghan camelier. She showed a photograph of her dad standing in front of a simple mosque. Imagine that! There’s a whole history that I wasn’t even aware of.

What really excited me was a short clip of an Aboriginal Muslim woman who lived up in Darwin – the remarkable thing was that she looked Indonesian! This young woman is living proof of the intermarriage between the Makassan trepangers and Aboriginal women.

I came away from that documentary with a quiet reassurance that Muslims have been part of the fabric of Australian society for a very long time. Evidence of that ranges from old rock paintings, the first telegraph pole in Australia, to the  descendants of these early Muslims who are still living today. Kudos to the Islamic Museum of Australia team for putting together this inspiring documentary! I hope that it reaches far and wide, and promotes understanding in a world that needs more compassion, and less judgement.

On this note, Happy New Islamic Year! We’re now in the month of Muharram, 1434 after the Prophet’s migration to Medina.
May this year be a blessed and safe one for you and your loved ones 🙂